First Kiss Last

  First Kiss Last

  Sara Miller

  Copyright © 2021 Sara Miller

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  To my best friend, my husband, my love.

  Scott Allen Miller is a cool dude.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  First Kiss Last

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Epilogue

  About the author

  Acknowledgements

  A year ago, in the midst of a looming pandemic, I half-jokingly told a coworker, “If we get sent home, I’m gonna write a book.” Then the stay-at-home order hit and I knew it was now or never. As everyone’s jobs ground to a halt, I got to work.

  I may have written this book, but the phrase “it takes a village” definitely applies. I’m not even sure who to thank first. So I’ll just jump in and cover as many people as I can. If I miss you, I’m sorry. It was not intentional. I appreciate your support.

  To my niece, Kelsey, who read almost chapter-by-chapter the roughest draft possible. Thank you for loving my characters as much as I do. For seeing my vision. For encouraging me through the tough spots. For laughing with me and crying with me as the story unfolded in front of us. (And for not freaking out that your aunt wrote a romance novel.) I can’t imagine this journey without you.

  To my friend and fellow author, Elle Clouse. How many stories have I started and never finished? But you always encouraged me to keep writing! Thank you for lending me your beta-readers, Ann Marie and Rhonda. And for only being a message away whenever I had questions about writing or publishing.

  To Ian, who will most likely never read this, thank you for dancing with me in my dreams. And for not remembering it in the morning.

  To my very first boyfriend, Chris. Middle school seriously feels like a lifetime ago. Yet you friend-requested me after all these years and unintentionally sparked the idea for this book. Thank you for inspiring me and encouraging me to “not change a damn thing.” While my character Cade is just a work of fiction, you are real and I hope you get the happily-ever-after you deserve.

  To my friend, Daen. Thank you for your timeless friendship, patience, and sound advice. You helped me filter out all the things threatening to discourage me. Best of all, you pushed me toward the editor I didn’t even know I needed.

  Yes . . . my editor (said with pride) Nessa Flax. I cannot imagine getting to this point without you. Not only did you take my rough manuscript and polish it into something even more amazing than I expected, you taught me as we worked. And it was work. But oh, so worth it. I am smarter, stronger, and more confident because of you. Not only have I learned new writing skills, I have gained a friend. I’m not sure which I appreciate more. Thank you!

  And last but definitely not least, I want to thank the Lord for my imagination, my creativity, and my talent for storytelling.

  When this story came to me, I’ll be honest, I was surprised by the content. I literally tried to write it off as a short story and be done with it. But as the characters grew and developed in my mind, their story became so clear I knew I had to tell it. The characters in this book do not share my faith. I looked at their story from every angle and I had two choices: write their story as it came to me or not write it at all. I chose to tell their story.

  This choice has taken me on a journey of writing what I believe to be an amazing story. A love story of second chances and plot twists—a secular romance. So to my Christian friends and family who have loved and supported me, I leave it up to you whether you choose to read any further. I love you regardless.

  First Kiss Last

  Chapter 1

  Hands shaking, Leah set down her coffee and slid it away, knowing full well it was not the caffeine causing her jitters. How long had it been since she’d seen him? They were strangers. Why now? After all these years? Her life was good, she was happy, she did not even want this. And yet . . . here she was, sitting in a coffee shop on a Saturday morning waiting for someone she should not be meeting.

  Leah had taken great care getting ready this morning, making sure her long brown hair was smooth and straight. She also spent extra time on her makeup, trying to make sure her round face was perfect. She had changed her clothes three times before returning to the very first outfit. Her new dark green sweater brought out a green tint to her hazel eyes. Its short sleeves and cowl neck hugged her curves and provided the perfect backdrop for the long pendant necklace she chose. The sweater hung past the cropped khaki jacket she’d added, due to the early fall temperature outside. Below it, she wore dark wash jeans and trendy ankle boots. It really was a great outfit.

  Knowing her clothes were fashionable, however, did not change her self-doubt. At five foot two, she knew she was too short. Any extra weight she carried showed on her face, her hips, and several other obvious places. No matter how much her grandmother had praised her “hourglass figure,” Leah knew many people interpreted her generous curves as excess weight. She spent most of her adult life trying to slim down and look the way she thought she should. It was a battle she was tired of not winning.

  Leah just hoped . . . not sure what exactly. That Cade would like what he saw? It was crazy. She was so nervous! She wondered if the nerves were radiating from her and if anyone else could tell.

  Scanning the other tables, Leah was relieved no one seemed to be paying attention to her. She checked her watch for the fourth time. She arrived fifteen minutes early because she wanted to be there first. It was a power move. She did not want to be on display for him as she walked in. This way, she was doing the watching.

  Then she saw him. How many years had it been? Cade was slightly taller than she remembered. Even so, he was average male height—not short, but wouldn’t be considered tall. His frame had filled out and he looked strong, a by-product of his construction work. He was a contractor, but obviously still very hands-on. His skin was tan from the recent summer sun. The brim of the ball cap he was wearing curved downward, obstructing the view of his face. She noticed light brown hair sticking out at the back. As he came closer, she saw the square jaw and blue eyes she had never forgotten. The eyes that had first captured
her young heart.

  She took in his short-sleeve button-down shirt. It was a casual shirt but against his well-worn blue jeans and his heavy work boots, she was sure for him it was dressing up. Where he was cute before, now he was handsome. He looked older. Harder. Like he’d really lived. Yet she was sure he was still the nice guy she remembered. Fundamentals of who you are don’t really change, right?

  Leah knew the minute Cade saw her. She watched a smile form on his face. A true, genuine, happy-to-see-you, smile. He strode over to the table with more confidence than she had.

  “Hey,” she said. As far as greetings go, it was pathetic. Her brain was blank, so she added a smile. He had told her he missed her sweet smile. Leah wiped her hands on her jeans and hoped he did not notice her nerves.

  “Hey, yourself.” His voice had an underlying rough gravel tone it had not had in his youth. The smile had not left his face but had morphed into a sexy little smirk. Cade gestured toward the counter, “Need anything?”

  Reminding herself he was asking about coffee, she shook her head no. He gave her a little nod and went off to order his drink. Leah fanned her face, then stopped in case he saw. She was sure she was blushing. Or flushed from the warmth of the coffee and the cozy environment of the shop. The windows were steamed up.

  Leah slipped off her jacket, putting one hand to her hair and the other to her necklace to make sure everything was still in place. It was very warm in here. Yeah, that had to be it. Because she could not want him to come back, take her in his arms and kiss her silly. That would be absurd.

  She felt ridiculous. Leah did not understand how feelings from her youth could come back this suddenly and be so strong. She swore she had just wanted to see him. Just wanted to catch up. Just wanted to find a way to make sense out of what happened long ago. Had Cade liked her as much as she liked him? Did he regret not kissing her? She was happy with her life but her heart wanted to know. And yet, Leah knew she was lying to herself. Knew she had already crossed the line just being here.

  Cade was back faster than she could have imagined. She eyed his mug of dark liquid. Of course he drank his coffee black. Black that would match her soul after today.

  They chatted as they drank their coffee. Simple things like work and the weather. Nothing like the in-depth texts they had already exchanged. Leah felt like she had already shared so much of herself. She held a few things back and figured it was safe to assume he had too. Even so, she thought they were on the same pages but what if she had misread? What if there was no between-the-lines to the things he said? The vulnerability of her past momentarily overwhelmed her. He didn’t want her. He couldn’t. She was no one to him.

  “You’re quiet,” he stared at her.

  She shrugged. Leah knew she could not say out loud the things she was thinking. She avoided his eyes and stared at her hands wrapped around her coffee. In her hurry to beat Cade here, she’d neglected to put on her rings.

  “Change your mind?”

  She was here, wasn’t she? This was the plan. To meet for coffee. How could she have changed her mind? She shook her head as she finally found words. “Did you?”

  “Nope.” He did not give her more to work with.

  “I just . . . this doesn’t feel real,” she admitted. What was next? Leah had not thought any farther ahead than seeing him. What had she agreed to? To spending the whole day with him? To more? She drank the last bit of her coffee to cover her heightened anxiety.

  “I was an idiot.” Cade reached across the table and touched his hand to hers. Leah let go of her coffee and he took her hand in both of his, slowly moving a calloused thumb over her soft skin. “I can’t believe I’m getting a second chance.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed his back. He drained the last of his coffee as well. His coffee mug gave a final thud on the table, reminding her of a judge’s gavel. It was decided.

  “You ready to get outta here?” His husky voice sent shivers down her spine. And other places too. Leah could only nod. She was having an out-of-body experience. That was the only logical explanation.

  With a light tug, he pulled her up. Leah quickly grabbed her jacket with her free hand. As he pulled her toward the door, she attempted to put her jacket on one-handed. Cade stopped, took the jacket from her and held it open. Leah quickly put in one arm and the other, self-conscious at being helped with her coat. She fiddled with the jacket, then her hair, wishing there was a mirror.

  “You look great. Come on.” Cade took her hand again and led her outside to the passenger side of a large extended cab truck. It was black and recently washed. She laughed out loud. He quirked an eyebrow and she knew she had to explain.

  “You drive a truck.” Stating the obvious, however, did not clarify her laughter. Leah chuckled. “Of course you drive a truck . . .” She shook her head. “I’ve always had a thing for guys who drive trucks,” she confessed.

  “Well . . .” his sexy smirk was back in place. “Lucky me.”

  Instead of opening the door for her as expected, Leah suddenly found herself backed against it. Cade had one hand on the window and the other on her hip.

  “Last chance,” he growled.

  She did what she had wanted to since she was fourteen: she kissed him. Cade tasted of bitter coffee and tobacco, a combination that until this moment Leah never would have guessed she’d like. She wanted more but the kiss ended too soon. She searched his face as if trying to read his thoughts. His face clearly asking her what next.

  “Do you live close?” More than shocked at herself, she barely got the words out.

  He smiled broadly, kissed her quickly, then opened the door for her. As she climbed in, he smacked her butt. And heaven help her, she laughed. She liked it. She liked him. She liked this moment. Leah felt brazen and free and could not wait for what would happen next. She wanted to remember it all forever, Cade’s smile and the way he made her feel as he closed the truck door.

  The slam of the door jarred her to her soul. Leah sat up, drenched in sweat, heart pounding hard.

  “Sorry, babe, I didn’t mean to wake you.” She was in her bed, in her nightgown. Her husband stood by the bed.

  “Eric? Where . . . what day is it?” she asked, totally confused.

  “It’s Sunday, but you have another hour before you need to get up, assuming you still wanna go downtown for brunch. I just got back from working out.”

  “Sunday?” Leah felt completely disoriented. The last thing she remembered was a truck. Oh God, she thought. What did I do?

  “Yeah, Sunday. Are you okay? You were tossing and turning in your sleep before I left.”

  “I was?” She couldn’t help it, she started to cry.

  “Babe,” Eric looked at her with concern. “You okay?” He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped the tears from her face.

  “I . . .” She looked around wildly. “Yesterday . . .”

  “Yesterday what? You made us spend the whole day with your sister. Picnic at the park. You pushed your nieces on the swings. Leah, you are scaring me.”

  “Oh yes, of course. I remember! Oh, my goodness. I just . . . I had this dream and it was so real. I was confused for a sec. I’m fine. Seriously.” She laughed and could tell how fake it sounded.

  “Um . . . okay then. I’m gonna hit the shower.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

  Leah watched Eric walk away. Eric Douglas: her husband. Not Cade.

  Trying to shake off the remnants of the dream, she laid back down. She put one hand on her heart, feeling how hard it was beating. The dream had been so real. But she remembered the park too: sandwiches, sunshine, a light breeze and the sound of the children’s laughter as they begged to be pushed higher and higher.

  She breathed a sigh of relief. She had not done the unthinkable. Yet, she remembered the coffee and could still taste it. The truck, the kiss. Leah remembered it all. She had lived two different Saturdays. Thank God they could not both be real. She hadn’t had dreams that felt this real since . . .

 
; “No,” she said aloud as a thought occurred to her. Before she could process it, her phone went off.

  Leah pulled it off the charger expecting to see pictures of yesterday from her sister. Instead, she saw a name. A friend request from someone she had not seen or talked to in almost twenty years. Cade Emerson. Her calming heart went back into a frenzy.

  Another ping. With shaking hands, Leah pressed the button to see the private message Cade had just sent.

  Hey hun, long time no talk. Had the best dream about you last night. We should catch up.

  She stared at the screen. Just a coincidence, right? Another ping.

  If it helps, I drive a truck. ;)

  Chapter 2

  Leah dropped the phone.

  She had a dream.

  Cade had a dream.

  The same dream.

  And he remembered it.

  How? Why him? Why now?

  She could not deal with this. Leah set the phone aside.

  She got out of bed and made coffee, hoping it would make her rattled brain start to work. But the coffee only made her more on edge.

  When Eric finished in the shower, Leah took her turn. She was still so distracted by the dream, she washed her hair twice. She gave up and turned off the shower. It took her frazzled brain too long to do her normal tasks. Eric was annoyed and she found herself apologizing repeatedly until she was ready to go.

  They headed out on foot, finally making it to the restaurant for brunch. Leah was sure the food was excellent but she didn’t remember tasting it. If they had a conversation with their meal, she could not recall.