First Kiss Last Read online

  “Babe, no.” He was instantly at her side, wrapping his arms around her.

  “Don’t.” She shook her head. “Please don’t call me that. Don’t ever call me that.” She struggled to get free and he released her.

  “Listen,” he gently took her face in his hands and made her meet his eyes. His gorgeous eyes. “You look,” he struggled for words. “You look like everything I’ve ever wanted.” He kissed her left cheek. “You. Here. In my room. In my clothes. God. You look so fucking perfect, like I’ve died and gone to heaven.” He kissed her right cheek. “You look beautiful. Your laugh, your smile. It’s killing me.” He kissed her chin.

  “But you said . . .”

  “That I was crazy.” He quickly kissed her lips before she could reply. “Crazy to share any of the minutes I have with you with someone else.” He laughed and shook his head. “I’m jealous of sharing you with my own son.”

  Leah smiled at his confession. Relief flooded through her and she felt herself relax again.

  “Put a shirt on, cowboy. We’ve got a movie date!”

  Cade kissed her again. More thoroughly this time. He smacked her butt before releasing her and pulling on his t-shirt.

  “I must be crazy too, to have you cover up and have us leave this room,” Leah sighed.

  They looked at each other. Both clearly torn. The decision was taken out of their hands as Liam’s voice cried out.

  “Daaaaaad! I’m ready!”

  Cade grabbed Leah’s hand, pulling her out the master bedroom door. “Come meet my son.” His proud smile warmed her heart.

  Chapter 4

  As they made their way down the hallway, Leah began to feel truly nervous. Sure, in theory she wanted to meet Cade’s son. But he was a reminder of Cade’s other life. A life she wasn’t part of. What if Liam didn’t like her? As they passed several closed doors, her anxiety grew. She faltered at the threshold of a large family room.

  Cade stopped and gave her hand a quick squeeze. He leaned in close, his hot breath on her ear. “He’s gonna love you. Like—” He stopped abruptly.

  “Like what?” She whispered back. Afraid of whatever it was Cade almost said.

  “Like . . . a lot.” He squeezed her hand again, not meeting her eyes.

  Leah knew she should not have pushed him to say more. She squeezed his hand in response and they entered the room.

  From the colorful throw rug in the center of the room, to the large comfy couch along the back wall, this room was as warm and inviting as Cade’s bedroom. There was a beanbag chair and a recliner that both looked equally loved. An oversized coffee table in front of the couch served as a footstool with storage drawers underneath. Family photos covered the walls. A large bookcase sported an eclectic assortment of books, movies, games, knick-knacks, and toys. The room was clearly lived in. It needed a good dusting and a pass with the vacuum. It was a normal family home. It was perfectly imperfect.

  Leah’s heart flipped over. Sitting in the center of the couch, clutching a DVD case, was a tiny version of Cade. His sandy blond hair. His square chin, apparent even through the softness of his youth. Down to the dimple on his left cheek as he smiled, he was all Cade in miniature.

  “Dad!” Liam dashed across the room and threw himself at his father. Cade caught him quickly with one arm, and settled his son on his hip, all without letting go of Leah’s hand. He gave it another squeeze before he spoke.

  “Liam, I want you to meet someone very special. This . . . this is my friend, Miss Leah.”

  “Hi.” He sounded shy compared to his earlier exuberance.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Liam. Thank you for letting me be part of your guys-night. What movie did you pick?” She attempted to sound normal, as if her presence here wasn’t unusual. Like it was normal to be at someone else’s house in borrowed clothes, meeting someone for the first time late at night. She smiled encouragingly.

  That was all it took. Liam was back to his chatty, friendly nature. He regaled her with a short list of all the movies he’d considered and dismissed before finalizing his choice. As Leah listened intently, she watched his face. Up close, Liam’s resemblance to his father was just as strong, except for his eyes. Unlike Cade’s bright blue, Liam’s eyes were a warm, chocolate brown. The rest of his features, his mannerisms, even the cadence of his voice were all his father’s.

  “And that’s why I picked The Princess Bride. I didn’t wanna pick a baby cartoon or anything too grown up, right? And The Princess Bride is my new favorite. Have you seen it? Do you like it? Is it a good choice?” He finally stopped for a breath and looked expectantly between the two adults.

  Leah looked at Cade. Cade looked at Leah and raised one eyebrow. He smiled. Leah turned her attention back to Liam.

  “I think it sounds perfect! I haven’t seen that movie in ages and it’s one of my favorites too.”

  Liam gave another whoop, similar to the one she heard earlier. This time she was able to see it was punctuated with a raised fist in the air. She laughed in delight at his unrestrained happiness. She could lose her heart to this kid.

  “Dad,” his tone turned suddenly serious. “I think we need snacks.”

  Cade took a deep breath and looked as if he might finally put his foot down. Before he could get a word out, a loud grumble erupted from Leah’s stomach. She released Cade’s hand and pressed both hands to her belly, willing the sound to end. When it did, she looked up embarrassed.

  “Tell you what, you go queue up the movie and we’ll go grab some grub.”

  There was another whoop as Liam scampered down and across the room to fetch the movie.

  Cade took her hand again and they crossed the great room. On the far right side, Leah saw it opened into a dining area with a kitchen tucked in the right corner. They bypassed the large farm table and the island that separated the two spaces. When they were just out of sight of the living room, he hugged her close and gave her another quick kiss.

  “Told you Liam would love you,” Cade gloated. “Now let’s find you food before your stomach gets so loud we can’t hear the movie,” he teased.

  “Ha-ha.” She tried to look offended but it didn’t work. He laughed, kissed her again and turned to the cupboards.

  “Popcorn?”

  She did not have to answer. Again, her stomach spoke for her.

  “Okay, maybe something more substantial.” He opened the fridge and gestured at the kitchen in general. “Make yourself at home. What sounds good?”

  Leah plucked an apple out of a wicker basket of fruit on the counter. “Popcorn for sure. And . . . do you have any cheese? I know it might sound weird but popcorn, apple slices, and cheese are one of my favorite snack combos and I don’t have it very often,” She shifted her attention to the apple, twisting the apple stem in an old childhood alphabet game to reveal the name of her true love. A, B, C—the stem broke off and she smiled.

  Cade dug through the fridge and pulled out a package of mozzarella string cheese and a partial block of cheddar. He held them out for her approval.

  “Mmm . . . cheddar.” She grabbed it from him.

  He showed her where the cutting board lived and what drawer held knives. As she rinsed off several apples and began to slice them, Cade poured juice for Liam and grabbed two beers for them. Leah made a face and he put one beer back.

  “Tell me what you like and I’ll have it here. For next time.”

  “Next time,” she repeated with a wistful smile. “Hmm . . . hard cider maybe?” She waited for him to judge her choice. She could hear the movie starting in the background and quickly switched to ready the cheese.

  She felt Cade lean in behind her and press up close. “As you wish,” he whispered.

  “Water okay for now?” he asked, tone back to normal.

  She nodded and transferred the apples and cheese to the plate he’d handed her. It was white, trimmed with green leaves and tiny yellow flowers. She felt a pang of jealousy over what feminine hand helped pick out that pattern. Sh
e immediately felt ridiculous and focused on finishing her task.

  Perfect timing. The microwave beeped just as the popping slowed and she pulled it out, shaking it vigorously.

  “Add real popcorn to that list too. I can make it on the stove, it’s so much better.”

  This time Cade only nodded. He held out a small plastic bowl and filled it. “For Liam, we can share the plate and bag. Sound good?”

  “Mmmm,” Leah couldn’t reply in words. She had snagged a piece of apple and was chomping away. She slipped a couple apple wedges and cheese slices along the inner edge of Liam’s green bowl.

  Between the two of them, they somehow managed to get the drinks and the snacks to the living room. Liam grabbed his bowl and headed for the beanbag chair, already engrossed in the movie. Cade and Leah settled in on the couch side-by-side.

  “Quick, eat! Before you starve away to nothing!” Cade teased and fed her some popcorn. As his fingers brushed her lips, she had more than one kind of hunger. She pushed him away playfully.

  “Hardly! I could go quite a while before I starve.” She patted at her hip indicating she had plenty of padding.

  Cade’s forehead wrinkled and the playful smile disappeared. “I think your body is perfect. Please don’t put yourself down. Not around me. Especially not with me. Okay?”

  She’d just put more food in her mouth so it took her a moment to reply. He seemed so serious and genuine. It was hard to process. She wanted to believe him. To comply. To feel accepted and even cherished just as she was.

  “I’ll try.” After a lifetime of body image issues, it was the best she could offer. Although, if he kept this up, she wondered if he could actually convince her. She offered him a smile and he stole the piece of apple she was about to eat.

  “Hey, this is GOOD!” Liam announced. “I’ve never had apples and cheese with popcorn before. Was this Miss Leah’s idea? I bet it was. She’s SMART! Can I have more?”

  Cade quickly refilled the bowl and handed it down to him. “That’s it, bud. The rest is ours, okay?”

  “Okay, but can we have it again some time?” He turned to Leah, not waiting for a response. “Because my sister Skyler would really like it too. Right, Dad?” Liam nodded, answering himself. “But don’t call her Skyler, she likes Sky better.”

  Leah smiled happily as she listened to Liam. He was the cutest thing. She glanced at Cade and saw he was equally amused.

  “Oh, and Miss Leah?”

  “Yes, Liam?”

  “Thank you!”

  “My pleasure.” And it was. Sharing one of her favorite snacks, watching one of her favorite movies, being here with Cade and Liam, she was so relaxed and happy.

  When she polished off the rest of the snacks, Cade offered to make her more. Instead she pulled an afghan off the back of the couch and snuggled in. He put his left arm over her shoulder and squeezed her in close. She looked up at Cade and he briefly kissed her. Turning her attention back to the movie, she felt she had everything she needed right here. Well, almost.

  Chapter 5

  As Fezzik began his ascent on the Cliffs of Insanity, Liam moved up to the couch. He looked to Leah for approval as he tucked himself under the crocheted blanket with her. She smiled, adjusting it, making sure he had more than enough to cover his little body.

  The fall air outside cooled the room this late in the evening. Cade probably had not turned the furnace on yet. She was glad for the added warmth on either side of her.

  When Westley and Buttercup entered the Fire Swamp, Liam snuggled close. Leah wondered if maybe this part scared him.

  “Miss Leah, do you think ROUSes are real?” Before she could reply, Cade interjected.

  “Is what real?”

  “ROUS!” Leah and Liam replied at the same time. Cade’s face made Leah want to laugh. Instead she explained, “It stands for Rodents Of Unusual Size. You know, from the movie. That’s what they call them.”

  “Yeah, Dad! Everybody knows that.” Liam shook his head at his father before turning back to Leah and repeating his question. “So . . . do you think ROUSes are real?”

  “This movie is just pretend, bud.”

  “Da-ad! I know but I was asking Miss Leah!”

  “Sorry, sorry!” Cade threw up his hands and leaned back on the armrest as if to take himself out of the conversation.

  Leah thought Cade seemed pleased with the interaction taking place. She winked at him, then half-turned so she could fully engage with Liam.

  “Well, I’ve never seen one in real life. Hmmm . . .” She tapped her chin pretending to think. “But it could be they do exist but only in the Fire Swamp. What do you think?” She turned it back to Liam, curious what his mind would come up with.

  “This movie is just pretend,” he parroted his father’s words. “But . . .” his little face scrunched up, deep in thought, “is there anything in real life that is like an ROUS?”

  “Oh! Now that’s a great question, Liam! I wonder what the largest rodent is. Should we look it up?”

  “Yes!” Liam jumped up excited. He kneeled on the couch beside her, hands on her lap, practically bouncing. “Where’s your phone?”

  “Oh, um . . .” She didn’t have her phone. She didn’t even have underwear! Not that she was going to tell the kid that. She turned to Cade.

  Arms folded across his chest, Cade did not look like he wanted to help.

  “Oh, so now I’m allowed to be part of the conversation? When you want something? I tell you . . .” his lips twitched and it gave him away. He laughed and jumped up to retrieve his phone from the bedroom.

  Just before he left the room, he stopped and turned. He looked her straight in the eyes. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  “It’s nighttime, Dad! I can’t leave.” Liam turned to Leah. “Where does he think I’d go?” the boy wondered.

  Leah knew Cade’s comment was meant for her and she did not want to leave either. Thankfully, Liam’s focus returned to their rodent discussion.

  Cade was back quickly. When he saw Leah there, his relief was apparent as he reclaimed his spot on the couch and handed over his phone. She barely got anything typed before Liam started to lose his patience.

  “What does it say!” he demanded.

  Liam was leaning in so close his sandy blond head practically touched hers. Even Cade leaned in. They were all curious now. Google quickly pulled up the world’s largest rodent.

  “Cap-cap . . .” Liam tried sounding it out. “I don’t know that word.”

  “Capybara.” Leah carefully pronounced, and Liam repeated it. Together they looked at pictures and Leah listed off facts. Cade sat back still observing. It made her a little nervous but she focused on Liam.

  “Hey, it looks like a guinea pig! We have one at school in my class. We named it Snuggles!” He giggled.

  “That’s right, they are closely related. But the capybara is much larger. It says here it’s the size of a golden retriever. Do you know what that is?”

  “Yes! My friends have one of those dogs. Whoa, that’s a really big guinea pig!” Liam’s eyes were wide with wonder. “What else does it say?”

  “It says it looks like a guinea pig but it swims like a beaver.”

  “Cool! What else?”

  “It’s a herbivore. Do you know what that means?”

  Liam’s face scrunched up in thought and Cade supplied the answer.

  “Plants. No meat, right? Sounds horrible. Next time you’re over I should grill. Not to brag but I grill a mean steak. You like steaks?”

  “Da-ad!” Liam’s tone indicated the subject change was not welcome. “What else, Miss Leah?”

  “Oh, gross . . .” Leah wasn’t sure she wanted to share what she just read. She quickly showed it to Cade.

  “What the—” Cade caught himself before he said more.

  “What? What? WHAT!” Liam bounced and tried to grab the phone. She handed it over Cade for safe keeping.

  She looked to Cade for help. He was barely holding back lau
ghter and she imagined the look of horror on her face was the main source of his amusement. He was going to be no help at all.

  “I think you have to tell him now,” Cade chuckled.

  “Tell me! Tell me!” Liam continued to bounce, shaking the whole couch and Leah along with it.

  “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you. Stop bouncing and I’ll tell you.”

  Liam froze, waiting as patiently as he possibly could.

  Leah crooked her finger and Liam moved in close, ready to be let in on the secret. She whispered, “They eat their own poop.” She made a disgusted face and he giggled.

  Liam giggled so hard he fell backward. He lay on the couch laughing in pure childhood merriment. Cade finally let loose his amusement as well. Soon all three were laughing. Leah felt tears forming in her eyes. When was the last time she had an actual giggle-fit? When was the last time she laughed at a poop joke, let alone made one? Even with her own nieces, she could not remember.

  Her thoughts sobered her enough that a few of her tears were true grief over what she now knew was missing in her life. Cade seemed to sense the change in her. His own laughter died away. His eyes looked like he wanted to ask her what was wrong but his attention suddenly went to his son.

  Liam’s giggles began to sound a little forced. The sure sign of an overtired child.

  “Okay, bud, that’s enough. Come here.”

  Liam reluctantly sat up. He climbed over Leah to his dad’s lap.

  “It’s late. I think we should call it a night.”

  “Aw, but the movie!”

  “We just missed the last fifteen minutes and you didn’t seem to mind. Plus, you’ve seen it before. And you can finish it tomorrow.”

  “Ten more minutes? Please!”

  Cade checked his watch and did not immediately answer. When Liam waited patiently without whining, Cade made him a deal.

  “Go use the bathroom and brush your teeth. Then you can come back and watch a few more minutes. Deal?”

  Liam nodded. Quick to take the deal, he bolted down the hall.